Irish Maths

A construction boss in Belfast was interviewing men when along came a guy named Paddy from Dublin.

'I'm not hiring no dumb fock paddy from Dublin,' the foreman thought, so he made up a test hoping that Paddy wouldn't be able to answer the questions and he'd be able to refuse him the job without getting into a dispute.

"Here's your first question," the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9"

"Wittout nombers?" Paddy says. "Agh! feck aff dat's easy," and he proceeds to draw 3 trees. "What's this?" the boss asks. Paddy replies, "Ain't ye got no brains? Tree'nTree'nTree makes 9. Are ye feckin' tick or wa?"

"Fair enough," says the Boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time use the number 99."

Paddy stares into space for a minute, then picks up the picture he has drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. "Dare ye arre, me mucker." The Boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?"

Paddy says "Each a de trees is dirty now! So it's dirty tree 'n dirty tree'n dirty tree-daa makes 99". The Boss is getting worried he's going to have to hire the Dubliner so he says, "All right, last question. Same rules but this time use 100."

Paddy stares into space again, then picks up the picture once more, makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Dare ye arre, buddy, a hunnert."

The Boss looks at the picture for a moment and says, "You must be nuts if you think that represents 100!"

Paddy leans forward and points to the mark at the base of the trees. "See der? Well a little feckin' doggie comes along and takes a shoite on each a dem trees, so now ya got dirty tree an' a turd, dirty tree an' a turd, dirty tree an' a turd-which makes a hunnert. Feckin' roit it does !!! When do I feckin' start?"